The word divorce is never a sweet aroma in any couple’s discussion. However, if it is bound to happen, then there is no other way than to allow nature to take its course.
Men get affected more than women when it comes to divorce, and the aftermath has a devastating effect. Usa.gov carried out a study showing that the mortality rate of separated men ranges to the extent of 250%.
This is defined by the psychological, emotional, and physical torture that men go through after a break-up. True to say, while they are married, they rely so much on their spouses such that when they separate, a large vacuum is left of which they are unable to accommodate it by themselves.
There are several reasons as to why the mortality rate is this high, and some of them are as a result of;
· Heart attacks;
· Severe colds that becomes life-threatening.
Divorce in men also affects their mental health, and many end up becoming drug addicts. This often leads to excessive use of drugs to the extent that they lose their values. Mostly, a good number who turn into addiction feel neglected, and most cases lead to suicide missions.
This is after a long thought of lack of forgiving themselves and leading the life of a failure. Below is some of the influence expected while men divorce.
1. Depression– Depression is a critical illness that affects the mind in terms of how one feels overtime. It is caused by loneliness, pain, and sadness. Men do not have a sense of control when depression sets in as women do. In most cases, they visit the psychiatrists more than women who have separated. The reason behind this lies in the fact that women have a forgiving spirit, share out their woes and they can take up issues and move on as fast as possible concerning men.
2. Suicidal thoughts– Coming into terms with the life of singlehood and leave a family that a man once cherished is a bitter pill to swallow. He ends up not accepting the reality and lives of self-denial. In such cases, one is not able to share out the thoughts of pain with friends, mostly due to the ego that men carry within themselves. When these negative thoughts keep on building up, with time, they develop into suicidal thoughts and consequently practicing it. This is one of the significant reasons for premature deaths in divorced men.
3. Lack of purpose in life– Research has it that most men who are separated live a life of their own. The children usually settle with their mothers and especially if they are minors. They are bound to be safer in the hands of women than men.
When they live alone, the loose purpose of life to the extent of hating themselves and in most cases. This results in premature death.
4. Recurring bad memories and thoughts– While this is a lifetime event, men keep on remembering the painful moments that they went through during the divorce process, which is not a pleasant experience in their lives. When good or bad memories keep recurring, they feel that at one time, they lost it and end up getting heart attacks or any other life-threatening disease that was a cause of divorce.
5. Hard to love again– For instance, if the marriage ended because of trust issues, it will not be easy for a man to find love again and accept to move on. They feel that it’s better to stay alone rather than have a similar experience as the one they had in the past. However, this should not stop them from loving again since loving again could be the beginning of the healing process.
6. Financial stress –In instances when a woman was the financial provider while they were living together as a husband and wife, men get into financial stress wondering how life will be. All in all, there is a solution to this which should be getting a job to help manage the daily expenses.
7. Poor performance at work– When the mind is not settled, even when there is available work, the concentration levels of men are deficient compared to that of women. They become negatively influenced by the aftermath of divorce, which translates to poor performance. In the end, the career progression comes to a standstill, and the man ends up stagnating in one position for an extended time.
8. Challenges to reconnect with real life and happiness– No matter how much a man loved the woman, or the extent to which the marriage was challenging, there is still a soft spot left regarding the love for the ex-spouse. As such, moving on and living life to the fullest and enjoy the happiness that life could give after separation is a challenge to men.
They often feel that joy was all in their marriage even though it’s now past gone. They have no urge to become happy once again and find it hard to reconnect to a healthy life back. They thus live a miserable and lonely life after divorce
9. Low Self-esteem– Imagine how it feels when friends who you used to hang out with as couples have their families intact. Think of the holiday invitations that you used to enjoy altogether, and then all of a sudden, you are left without a family. The thought of going for such holidays become a thing of the past.
The reason behind this is because of low self-esteem. You can no longer fit in the company of your friends who have families since you feel there is something that’s missing in life.
10. Anxiety disorders– Anxiety disorder in divorced men is characterized by the fear of the unknown, which interferes with daily activities. For instance, there are those men who forget to go to work, or may even fear meeting with old friends because of imaginary things.
This could lead to heart attacks, cardiovascular pains, and death.
It’s essential to keep off stress and restlessness aside and try to focus on the better side of life.
Does this sound like you, you have no reason to worry, and there is always a turning point for any grievous, mistake that took place. One thing that men should keep in mind is that as soon as the decree is made, then the marriage ends there.
Therefore what’s the way forward?
Purposing to heal the pain and move on to the new life.
Develop a new trust for women, no matter how painful the past marriage was. This will allow the heart to find love once again, start dating and get the love of your life, which was not in the previous marriage. Most men have lived with bitterness, which is not a solution to the predicament. Why not shed off the ego and let go off the past and embrace what is new and trending?
Finally, even though this may seem like a dream, live beyond yesterday’s life and its challenges, take control of finances, manage your destiny and keep off the thoughts of anxiety and fear far from you. It is never too late to salvage what is left and makeup in life. The destiny is not founded in the past but determined by the present. The important thing that men should discover is to stop causing misery in them. Take charge and live life to the fullest!