How Relationship Counselling Can Resolve 5 Common Problems Between Partners

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Angry millennial couple arguing shouting blaming each other of problem, frustrated husband and annoyed wife quarreling about bad marriage relationships, unhappy young family fighting at home concept

Conflicts between couples are commonplace in every relationship. In fact, experts detail them to be a sign of a thriving relationship, provided they’re infrequent and appropriately managed. Despite this, however, you have to regulate the conflicts to ensure that they’re healthy and won’t reach certain limits. When exceeded, these limits may make it difficult for your relationship to thrive. (1)

On this account, if you and your partner are undergoing some hurdles that you intend to resolve, counselling may help. This article highlights how relationship therapy sessions can help you overcome some prevalent relationship difficulties. Read on to learn more.

1. Irritating personality traits

As two different people, you can’t always agree on everything. For instance, pet peeves may seem trivial, but in reality, they play a huge role in detachment between couples. If left unchecked, they’ll build up over time and become toxic to your relationship. As much as you try working your way through them, you’ll often end up with little success, increasing frustrations with your partner.

A recent poll conducted in a sample of 1,000 British Columbian couples revealed that 55% of them had to spend more time with each other during the lockdown period. Out of this, a quarter admitted to feeling irritable towards their partners over that course. The constant closeness to your partner may overwhelm you, and their annoying habits might find their way to your nerves. (2)

Thus, if you and your partner are residents of a British Columbia city, like Vancouver, and you’re constantly arguing because of matters you see as petty, you may consider therapy sessions to curb these matters before they get out of hand. Visit a therapist for relationship counselling in Vancouver, and they’ll help you clearly express the exasperation you feel towards each other. They’ll suggest ways to heal or minimize them. And, if they prove to be unsolvable, they may suggest ways how you can live through them to sustain a healthy relationship.

2. Infidelity

Extramarital affairs among spouses have become an ordinary thing in the present world. Research conducted in 2017 reported an average of 31% of husbands and 21% of wives being involved in adultery. (3)

Accordingly, if your partner cheats on you, the betrayal will most likely have an emotional toll on you. Your relationship will go through stormy times as the mistrust levels between you two will significantly increase. For this reason, if you or your partner have infidelity problems, you may want to consider attending couples therapy sessions. 

Throughout the sessions, the relationship therapist will listen to you express how you feel about infidelity. They’ll also make you revisit your relationship goals and how dishonesty affects them. The therapist will also explore two options: ending the relationship or staying in it and undergoing a recommended healing process.

3. Money

Discussing money between you and your spouse can be a difficult task, especially if your financial management tactics don’t always see eye to eye. Tension is bound to arise every time money issues are raised, too. If left unchecked for a long time, it may cause a strain between you and your spouse. For this reason, you could visit a relationship counsellor for guidance on how to handle the issue. 

The therapist may equip you with methods to effectively communicate about money matters. For instance, they may suggest openness and honesty, especially for finances influencing you both, such as the mortgage. They may also recommend that you get expert monetary advice from financial professionals.

4. Intimacy issues

Perhaps at the beginning of your relationship, you two had plenty of cozy moments together. You couldn’t step out of the house without giving each other a warm embrace, and you made all those little gestures that you knew would sweep your partner off their feet. And your nights were nothing short of beautiful. Now, you can’t pinpoint the exact reason, but the connection somehow ceased, and you no longer relive those moments. (4)

At this point, it’s wise to consider booking an appointment with a relationship therapist. They’ll analyze your dynamic and may spot the specific cause of the change. They’ll also give you tips on how to revive that spark that graced your honeymoon.

5. Substance abuse

In most scenarios, drug and substance abuse create a vast drift in relationships. If one of you is facing a substance misuse problem, issues like mistrust, anxiety, health problems, or even domestic violence may come up. Over time, resentment may override all affection towards your partner. (5)

To prevent your relationship from spiraling to such an extent, consider attending couples therapy sessions where you’ll get advice on how to handle your situation. The counsellor may recommend rehab for the partner in addiction and give you support on how to sustain your relationship if that is what you both want.

Conclusion

If you’re in a romantic relationship, you and your partner will face conflicts from time to time. However, you should seek help early enough if you see that the problem is spiraling out of control. This way, you’ll save the relationship while you still can.

Some common problems include infidelity, conflicting character traits, money, intimacy issues, and substance abuse. Relationship counselling can prove to be helpful if you consider it early enough. Take the first step and look into getting professional support from a certified therapist to resolve your relationship issues.

References

  1. “Why Conflict Is Healthy For Relationships,” https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/conscious-communication/201703/why-conflict-is-healthy-relationships 
  2. “Cupid Versus COVID: One-Quarter Of B.C. Couples Say They Have Lost The ‘Romantic Spark’,” https://vancouversun.com/news/local-news/cupid-versus-covid-one-quarter-of-b-c-couples-say-they-have-lost-the-romantic-spark 
  3. “Polyamory Is Deviant—But Not For The Reasons You May Think,” https://www.researchgate.net/publication/339892925_Polyamory_Is_Deviant_-_But_Not_for_the_Reasons_You_May_Think
  4. “After Honeymoon: The Evolution Of Problem Issues In Utah LDS Marriages,” https://www.researchgate.net/publication/281764910_After_the_Honeymoon_The_Evolution_of_Problem_Issues_in_Utah_LDS_Marriages  
  5. “Substance Abuse And Intimate Relationships,” https://www.aamft.org/Consumer_Updates/Substance_Abuse_and_Intimate_Relationships.aspx