Addiction has become one of the biggest concerns nowadays. It’s common to see people getting involved in addictive behaviors and develop an addiction over time. Most of them find it extremely difficult to overcome it later.
The fact is, we all know how challenging it can be to deal with addiction problems. However, sadly, many seem to take the concept of addiction lightly and believe that it is just a myth. They think that they are in full control of their use and can quit drugs anytime they want.
This type of thinking is widespread with behavioral addictions (non-substance addictions) such as gymming, gambling, shopping, sex, or eating. As long as my addiction was concerned, it was even more complicated. How? Let me explain.
I was engaged in addictive behaviour, even without developing an addiction at first. But later, it got worse. This is my story for you. I cannot disclose my identity, and there’s a reason. Even after so many years, I am scared to tell you my name, what I do, or where I live. That’s because I am still sort of ashamed, embarrassed, or even stigmatized. Things such as the liability, prosecution and retribution hold me back from revealing my identity. But, the good news is, this is my past now and also a story of my success. This is a tale of long-lasting recovery, hope, and positivity.
I’m telling this story so that my friends, colleagues and you all can understand the human side of this dangerous illness called addiction. It explains how it strengthens its back-stabbing grip before you even know and how your confidence has the power to defeat it.
I was not into any kind of drugs until I was in my graduation. I was pretty clean during my high school and college days. Then one night, it was around 1 AM, and I was working on my project. It was the third consecutive night I had not slept well, which made studying a difficult job for me. My roommate got me some type of stimulants telling me that it would help. And yeah, that really worked.
Moving forward, those pills came to my rescue whenever I was in search of such a boost to study during nights. I treated them just like a regular cup of coffee. But the feeling was way better than what coffee could ever do. Over a specific time, I realized that I could order those pills online and use them whenever I want to. This is how my relationship with addiction took off. And yes, I never saw that coming.
Till the time I was in my mid-twenties, this went from “just an occasional thing” to “every chance type of thing”.
During those days, I was dealing with loads of college work, weight issues, low-self esteem and at times, bullying. With not so many friends, I started relying on drugs to cope up with my struggles. It had taken over my everyday life.
The later years, I tried almost every substance that came in my way. I started smoking marijuana, drinking, and doing everything. Getting high felt like freedom, and I was in love with it.
As things progressed, I became a regular user of opiates that later led me to use heroin. And this is where drugs became the priority over everything in my life.
I was drawn away from my family, studies, girlfriend, and everything that was once close to me, except drugs. I left college and stopped contacting my family.
Frankly speaking, I hated the person I had become.
I almost died multiple times due to overdose. You would think that such encounters with death can encourage someone to get clean. With me, sadly, even that did not work. I just wanted to die and put an end to this.
I got arrested (several times) for shoplifting, driving under the influence, drug possession, petit larceny, and whatnot. I was on my way to the total destruction at full speed.
My Attempt To Come Back To Life
I was in and out of numerous treatment centers and detox programs around 10 to 12 times. Even though I was trying hard to get my everyday life back, I lacked hope.
In March 2017, I was arrested for getting high at a public place, and I was incredibly sick of doing the same things again and again. That was the first time I felt bad for myself. I felt like I had lost everything I had. That was my total surrender. I realized how I became the main reason behind the pain of my loved ones. At that point, I thought if I get a chance to put my life back again, I would grab and run away from this terrifying illness of addiction.
I spent nearly three months in jail and then shifted to one reputable residential treatment facility. This was the opportunity I needed back then.
There, as I progressed with my long term treatment program, I realized how lost I was in that scary dark tunnel of addiction. Gradually, my time there became a journey towards a changed and substance-free life.
One by one, things started changing. Various rewards and even small feelings of happiness motivated me to do anything for long-lasting sobriety.
When I look back, I often see myself laying in jail, begging God to help me out of this. I remember how helpless I felt. But today, I have around three years totally drug-free. I have got my good old days back. I am working hard on rebuilding trust with everyone. I focus now on restoring my relationships with family members. I have a perfect partner with me, and we are now planning to get married. I am motivated like never before to work on cleaning up the mess of my past.
Also, I now work as a recovery expert to help people struggling with addiction. I coach them to find a purpose in life.
Remember — defeating addiction is possible. Indeed, this battle is not easy. You have to invest every ounce of energy you have got. But the best part — it’s all worth it at the end of the day.
Life is much more than just thinking about scoring your next dose and getting high. Addiction is a real ghost, and you have to face it no matter what. All you have to do is reach out for help and the right guidance to get rid of it.
The thought of waking up completely sober and knowing that you haven’t hurt somebody the last day for your own benefit is so beautiful.
Today, I work with all I have to lead others towards the best ways of life. My personal experience (good and evil both) help me be a beacon of light for those who have lost their way in that ruthless ocean of addiction.